


Quiet Questions

by curiouswildflower



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Discussion of Pregnancy, Light Angst, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, Trans Character, Transgender Alexander
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-17
Updated: 2016-07-17
Packaged: 2018-07-24 12:00:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7507473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/curiouswildflower/pseuds/curiouswildflower
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A drifting nighttime conversation between husbands.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Quiet Questions

**Author's Note:**

> Vaguely set in the Pride and Prejudice society/time period. In the interest of honesty -- I'm cisgender, I did not do any research, and this isn't beta-ed.

“Do you ever regret how we must pretend?”

Alexander turned onto his side to see his husband staring at the ceiling. He was only able to make out his profile because of his familiarity with it – the slope of John’s nose, the pout of his lips.

“Do you?” he said, unsure if John actually meant his question to be answered.

John turned his head and met Alexander’s eyes. The dark room disguised John’s freckles, though not the set of his mouth nor the tilt of his brow. Alexander lay still as John searched his eyes.

“I regret that it hurts you, love.”

Alexander breathed deeply, at once acutely aware of the shape of his breasts in his night shirt. “It does not always hurt.”

John’s face softened. His eyes followed his hand as he reached across the bed, pushing Alexander’s hair off his neck. His hand moved to rest on Alexander’s shoulder, gently rubbing his thumb there.

“I do not pretend with you, John. I haven’t for years and for that I am grateful. You know how I feared a husband who would not… allow me. One who would not love Alexander.”

John had some idea. They had not yet been married a month when Alexander confessed his identity.

“I am grateful we are so similar in size. Though it does please me to imagine you tending the house in clothes too big.” John smiled, meeting Alexander’s eyes again. Alexander smiled in return, bringing John’s hand from his shoulder to his mouth and kissing his fingers.

Alexander held John’s eyes as he continued to lay kisses upon John’s hand and wrist. John’s breath caught as he imagined pushing his fingers into Alexander’s mouth. His next thought made him immediately guilty, and he confessed it.

“My father…” he paused, finding the words. “My father once again pressed upon me his expectation that we… continue our family.”

Alexander sighed. He laced his fingers with John’s and set their hands on the pillow next to his head. “His expectations do not surprise me, dear Laurens. You will make an excellent father.”

“As will you,” John said quickly. Alexander looked away, flushing. 

“I will be Mother, John. You know that.”

John once again reached across the bed, this time pulling Alexander against his chest. He wrapped his arms firmly around Alexander’s shoulders.

“You will make an excellent father, my Alexander.”

**Author's Note:**

> This came to be because I had read a lot of fic wherein Alexander was transgender, then I watched Pride and Prejudice and wondered how a transgender person might navigate their identity in that time period. Also it's my favorite thing in the world to read about a couple supporting each other and helping each other heal from angst from outside their relationship. Please let me know if this is offensive or triggering in any way. <3


End file.
